Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Conspiracy-Minded America

Diego Garcia - Is Malaysia Flight 370 Being Held Here?

Americans have always loved conspiracy. In my lifetime, I can remember conspiracy theories about JFK's assassination (which I actually never believed the American people got the real story about that), the "we-never-really-went-to-the-moon-it-was-all-staged-at-a-studio-in-Hollywood theory, the George Bush was responsible for 911 theory (because those towers had to have been blown up from inside!), the levees at New Orleans were purposely breached during Katrina and the this-one-or-that-one-isn't-really-dead theories.

And the American government has done a lot to create its own monster because they've lied to us so many times. The C.I.A. is just one big, giant lie factory and the Department of Homeland Security and the NSA have become the same. It's difficult to believe a word they say.

Still, in recent years, conspiracy has become a cottage industry in America, particularly with the election of Barack Obama. In the throes of of Obama Derangement Syndrome, his haters have become convinced that he 1) isn't an American, 2) isn't a Christian, 3) is a secret Muslim mole bent on the destruction of America, 4) Obamacare is actually a secret weapon meant to turn the U.S. into a socialist nation (you can pick your theory as to Obama's true political leanings - from one day to the next, he is a Nazi, a fascist, a socialist, a communist, the anti-Christ...). He has instituted death squads and even now, there are FEMA camps ready for the military (the ones who side with him anyway) to capture his political enemies. I guess they are just waiting until he confiscates all our guns. I'd say, he'd better be getting on it if he's going to get that done before his term of office is up......unless, of course, he never intends to relinquish power!)

It's amazing how those political enemies still have courage enough to post all the shit they do about Obama, right there on Facebook, risking kill squads and concentration camps, to bring the American people The Truth. Wow, we surely are the home of the brave!

The latest conspiracy is about Malaysia Flight 370 which disappeared three weeks ago with 239 on board. Since, then we've had false alarms and futile searches but we still don't have a clue about what happened despite ships and planes from several nations scouring the sea where it would have been likely to go down. And, of course, once again, the good old USA is the villain.

Now, there has been a supposed communication from one of the passengers, Philip Wood. The picture from his cell phone is black but it purports to show information which indicates that the plane is at a U.S. base in Diego Garcia, in the Indian Ocean. Here is the text of the message:

“I have been held hostage by unknown military personal after my flight was hijacked (blindfolded). I work for IBM and I have managed to hide my cellphone in my ass during the hijack. I have been separated from the rest of the passengers and I am in a cell. My name is Philip Wood. I think I have been drugged as well and cannot think clearly.”

(Incidentally, in case you're curious, other journalists have testified that is is uncomfortable, but possible, to secrete an Iphone in your anus. I, myself, am not that dedicated so I can't back them up first-hand.)

The next question is: why would the U.S. want to hijack this plane? The answer posited is that among the passengers were several specialists in high tech surveillance and weaponry, mostly from China. Our government wants to interrogate them for information. And then what? The most common belief among conspiracy theorists is that we will kill those that have no value and imprison and enslave the rest.

So, there you go. Believe what you will. I guess if you buy into death squads and FEMA camps, if you can accept that our president is a Muslim traitor and our previous president blew up the Twin Towers, it isn't that much of a leap to give credibility to our the idea that our government would hijack a plane with 239 passengers on board.

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