Saturday, May 25, 2013

Half-ful or Half-Empty?


Here's what I see as the difference between the two parties today. Democrats see America's glass as half-full, maybe even a little more than half-full. Meanwhile, Republicans don't just see the glass as half-empty, they see it is containing, at most, a few murky drops at the very bottom. Democrats are optimists. They believe our problems are somewhat easily solvable if only we would compromise and get to work. Republicans are pessimists. Their world consists almost exclusively of  conspiracy and cover up, of scandal and deliberate deceit and disloyalty. They seem to have been overtaken by a roaring case of clinical depression.

It isn't enough that they disagree with Barack Obama on various issues (even some on which they used to agree before he agreed with them), he has to the worst president ever!  He has to be Hitler! He has to be a secret Muslim! He has to be a constitution-shredder, and a gun-grabber! And besides that, Michelle is ugly! When the Obamas do the same things other First Families have done - play golf, go on vacation, wear designer dresses, have state dinners at the White House, these all become awful things. If the president travels to show his sympathy and support for hurricane or tornado victims, he is excoriated for showboating. Of course, if he didn't go, he'd be crucified for not caring.

Today's Republicans, or at least, conservatives, believe anyone who disagrees with them is a) stupid or b) deliberately unpatriotic. They recognize no middle-ground. They live in an either/or state of constant political warfare. They do not give the other side so much as credit for good intentions. They are all about "my way or the highway". No, not one single piece of gun control legislation, even the most innocuous, such as background checks. NO gun control regulations whatsoever! NO abortions under any circumstances! NO tax increases for any reason!

You'd think the party of no would want to say yes to something now and then, just for the sake of  variety, but it doesn't seem as if they ever do. NO on gay marriage, NO on immigration reform, NO on a jobs bill, NO on Equal Pay, NO on closing Guantanamo..... Their needle is stuck on a permanent NO.

Read their Facebook posts and you'll see that they live in a world that is uniformly brutal and ugly and oh-so-negative. They are surrounded on every side by moronic kool-aid drinkers and traitors who are out to snatch their stuff, most especially their guns. They recognize no positive signs that the U.S. is on the economic mend. If unemployment is down, it's because the Bureau of Labor is lying. If polls show Americans have more confidence, the polls are skewed. If the stock market is up, it's because of exactly the opposite reason you probably think - the big companies are all dumping their stock in anticipation of the coming depression, revolution, whatever. On the Bizarro conservative planet, the president and secretary of state wanted those people to die in Benghazi because, don't you know, they are secretly turning the country over to the Muslim Brotherhood. And Michelle visited the Saudi who really did the Boston bombings in the hospital, then helped him get out of the country. And, you know, of course, that Sandy Hook didn't really happen, it was all a fake out to act as a catalyst to stimulate calls for gun control.

What is their ultimate goal? Well, it appears to be impeachment, but failing that, perhaps they'll have to start a New Revolution. Because they are the only ones who love their country, the only ones who see the truth - that America is standing on the brink if we don't "take our country back" now.

How unutterably miserable they seem to be.

And I say, "cheers, Americans" - I'll toast you with my glass half-ful.