Tuesday, January 11, 2011

NASCAR Predictions

(*Note - repost from my blog at NASCAR.com)

Johnny Depp wins an Academy Award for his role as Jimmie Johnson in the movie, "Unfavorite Son".

Danica makes the cover of both the swim suit issue and the regular issue of Sports Illustrated. She agree to play herself in her move, "Fiberglas Ceiling".

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. writes his autobiography - "Laughing All The Way To The Bank".

Jeff Gordon pens a hit song, sung by John Mellencamp - "I Taught You Everything You Know...Dammit!"

Mark Martin writes a poem - "If Two Was One, I'd Be Jimmie Johnson".

Denny Hamlin composes a Dear John letter to Mike Ford.

Kyle Busch writes 1000 times on the NASCAR blackboard - "Dirty Words and Double Digits are Dastardly Deeds".

Brian Vickers, Jamie McMurray, Bobby LaBonte and Kasey Kahne all make the Chase in 2011 and sing a barbershop quartet chorus of "Sometimes You Have to Get Really Down Before You Appreciate Coming Back Up".

Kevin Harvick tweets - "yeah, but MY firesuit came in 3rd in the points".

Ryan Newman goes hunting and kills Sasquatch, whose head is now mounted in Ryan's den.

Tony Stewart and his partner win the final 2011 episode of Dancing With The Stars.

Brian France is quoted as saying, "whose freakin' bright idea was the Chase anyway?"

Cat in the Hat, Jack Roush, puts himself in a bubble, having done the calculations to realize he's on his ninth life.

David Ragan gets kicked off the island in Survivor and hopes that isn't a trend.

Carl Edwards polishes a limerick -

"There once was a driver who flipped back,

whenever he won on the track.

A cool flip of your own,

when done all alone,

But not when used as an attack.

Joey Logano and Brad Keselowski get together to croon a duet - "So, our fathers love us and may be a bit over-protective but isn't that better than the alternative?"